I recently interrupted my preaching series on 1 Samuel to look at what I call David’s “cave psalms.” These are psalms composed by David while he was on the run from Saul, usually hiding out in caves. These psalms tell us when they were composed in their title notes (which I take to be part of the inspired text) and that allows us to connect them with very specific events in David’s life. The “cave psalms” include Psalm 34, 52, 54, 56, 57, and 142; all of these Psalms were composed in conjunction with the events in David’s life recorded in 1 Samuel 21-23.
It is fascinating to note that in each of these cave psalms, even though David’s back is to the wall, he never expresses even a trace of self-pity. He never once feels sorry for himself. He never once whines or complains. He never despairs. In fact, each one of these psalms ends on a high note of triumph, confidence, and joy — even though the deliverance David so desperately desires and needs has not yet come by the time he concludes his prayer.
By contrast, Saul, despite having all the power and resources of the monarchy, feels full of self-pity. He constantly whines, complains, and feels sorry for himself. He believes he is the actual victim, even though he’s the one trying to murder an innocent man. Saul complains that none of his military intelligence will share with him David’s whereabouts in 1 Samuel 22:8. He complains that his own men are conspiring against him. It’s a pathetic, effeminate display. He says, “None of you has pity on me or discloses to me that my son has stirred up my servant against me” (22:8). Of course, none of these charges is really true. There is no anti-Saul conspiracy, only an anti-David conspiracy led by Saul. David has nothing, Saul has everything, and yet David refuses to feel self-pity while Saul is drowning in it. “God help me” is David’s constant prayer. “Poor pitiful me” is Saul’s constant complaint.
In 22:13, Saul falsely accuses Abiathar of taking part in a conspiracy against him. Once again, it is a false accusation that arises from Saul’s insecurity, envy, and self-pity, but it results in the destruction of the entire city of Nob. When the Ziphites finally disclose to Saul David’s hiding place, he tells the men of Ziph, “May you be blessed by the Lord, for you have had pity on me” (23:21). Saul is indeed pitiful — and his self-pity deludes him into thinking the Lord is with him in his murderous mission, as he seeks to catch and kill David. Saul tells the Ziphites that they will have to work hard to become accomplices to murder because David is “very cunning” (23:22). Poor Saul. He keeps trying to trap David, but David won’t play along and allow himself to get caught. Saul is constantly whining, “Woe is me.” Saul is constantly accusing others of conspiring when he is the conspirator. Saul thinks he’s the victim when he’s really the victimizer. He has the story backwards.
Saul’s sense of self-pity stands in sharp relief to David’s refusal to feel sorry for himself. David is a man of grit and courage because David is a man of prayer (and we can read the precise prayers he was praying — for example, Psalm 54 comes specifically from the moment he found out the Ziphites had given away his hiding place to Saul.) Saul meanwhile is a coward because he refuses to acknowledge God and only thinks of himself. He is full of self-pity because he is self-obsessed.
As is so often the case, self-pity gave rise to self-justification in Saul’s heart. Saul’s self-pity led him rationalize his evil. His self-pity leads him to think of himself as the victim. His self-pity deludes him into thinking David is guilty while he is innocent. His self-pity turns reality inside out. It is a kind of madness — Saul is not actually a victim at all. David has done him no wrong. David has been Saul’s loyal servant. David is the real victim. But David refuses to let his real victimhood define him, while Saul manufactures victimhood out of nothing for himself. The contrast between David and Saul could not be more plain: Innocent and wrongly accused David, on the run for his life, is full of buoyant joy, while self-pitying Saul has all the power but also all of the misery.
For Saul, as for so many in the modern world, victimhood functions as a kind of currency that he uses as leverage. He preys upon the empathy of his subjects, especially the Ziphites. If Jordan Peterson is right that “to the person controlled by empathy, everything that cries is a baby,” Saul’s cries of self-pity and victimhood tug on the heartstrings and manipulate his imbecile subjects. Because of self-pity, Saul thinks he deserves what he desires. He is entitled. He manipulates. He grumbles. He uses self-pity to justify his envy of David. He uses self-pity to justify attempted murder. He is the persecutor but thinks of himself as the persecuted.
Many people today adopt a Saul-complex, and use this same kind of thought pattern. Again, self-pity turns into self-justification. People move from feeling sorry for themselves to rationalizing their sin. Self-pity is used to justify cheating on tests and cheating on spouses. “I deserve a better grade.” “I deserve more pleasure than I am getting.” Self-pity is used to justify abusing drugs and alcohol. “I deserve to feel better.” A mother feels sorry for herself because of the demands her young children make on her; soon she starts to think of herself more as martyr than mother, and she comes to resent her children. A man feels sorry for himself because his job is demanding; out of self-pity, he rationalizes ripping off customers and justifies shortchanging his boss. “I deserve better!” is the cry of the self-pitying heart. The man full of self-pity can never be content; he has made himself a perpetual victim.
In our culture, to be classified as a victim is to be automatically justified. Once you have victim status, you are declared righteous and can do no wrong. Everything you do is excusable because victims are beyond criticism. Victims do not have to take responsibility for their actions and cannot be held accountable. That’s Saul in a nutshell.
Self-pity leads to self-indulgence. But that means self-pity leads to self-destruction. Self-pity is deadly. And so we must slay self-pity. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Turn away from self-pity and turn towards the pity of God. If self-pity destroys us, God’s pity saves us. God’s pity is his compassion, his mercy, his grace. Calling on God’s pity drives out self-pity. The alternative to feeling sorry for yourself in a crisis situation is calling out to God for strength and help. This is precisely what David does in the psalms from this period of his life. In each of these psalms, he looks away from the circumstances surrounding him to the promises of God, and thus he rises above the misery of self-pity even in very trying situations.
David’s cave psalms read in connection with the story of Saul in the corresponding part of 1 Samuel show us that self-pity arises when we refuse to trust God’s pity. When we don’t trust God to take care of us, we rationalize sinful attempts to get our own way. Saul became a self-pitying fool. David never fell into self-pity because he kept looking to God’s pity to take care of him.
In a sense, in this part of the story in 1 Samuel, David is the pitiful one. He has no resources. A rag-tag group of men have come to him but he has no weaponry, no wealth, no place to rest his head. He moves from cave to cave. But instead of turning in on himself in self-pity, he takes his pitiful circumstances to God and calls on God to have pity on him. Every cave psalm works this way — David acknowledges how wretched and miserable his condition is, then he turns it all over to God (with a few recommendations of what he would like to see God do!) and then he rests in the pity and mercy of God. And each time, God’s pity rescues him. Those who pity themselves will be judged without pity; those who turn away from self-pity to the pity of God will be saved by pity.
When you are trusting in God to vindicate you, you cannot think of yourself in a victim in an ultimate sense — even when your victimhood is very real! David’s constant trust in God keeps him from wallowing in victimhood. He does not focus on his circumstances (in this case, all the ways Saul has wronged him) but rather focuses on God’s strength to save him. Self-pity is annihilated by the recognition of God’s amazing pity.
In summary: Saul’s self-pity excluded him from God’s pity and drove him to demonic madness and murderous rage. David’s reliance on God’s pity produced peace, joy, and hope, and led to deliverance. Take your pick: Will you pity yourself or ask God to have pity on you?
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