This is an interpretive paraphrase/rewriting of 1 Corinthians 7:1-9, a key text on marital sexuality. If Paul had elaborated and explained himself more fully in these verses, I think he would have said something like this:
[1] You wrote to me, “It is good for a man to not touch – that is, to not have sexual relations — with a woman.” Many in your church feel this way about sex because sexual immorality has been such a problem for you. Some of you have a lot of sexual baggage from your past. Some among you are suggesting that perhaps it would be best, and more spiritual, to do away with sex altogether and try to be celibate. Some of you are ashamed of sex and sexual desire – and no doubt some of this shame is tied back to sins many of you committed before you came to believe the gospel (1 Cor. 6:9-11) or to a misguided asceticism.
[2] Let me give you a more realistic solution to the problem of sexual temptation – a solution that traces back to God’s original creation design for men and women. Your sexual desires are not evil in themselves, they just need a lawful way to be satisfied. Instead of trying to be celibate (and failing, since most of you do not have the gift of self-control required to live a celibate life), the answer to sexual immorality and temptation is marriage, and sex within marriage. That’s right: the solution to sexual temptation is sex within marriage. Thus, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Because the temptation to sexual immorality is so strong and so widespread, go ahead and get married! Then you will have a lawful sex partner. Sexual activity in marriage is God’s remedy to the sexual temptations you are facing. Contrary to what you wrote to me, I write to you: It is very good for a man to touch his wife! And for her to touch him!
[3] In marriage, the husband is legally and covenantally obligated to give sex to his wife, and the wife to her husband. This may sound radical because in your culture only men have sexual rights. But in the culture God is building, wives have sexual rights too. This was even taught in the Torah (Exodus 21:10-11). Each spouse has a right to sex; each spouse has a duty to give sex; no sexual needs or desires in marriage should go unfulfilled. That’s God’s desire and design for marriage.
[4] The wife does not have authority over her body once she gets married, but her husband does. And likewise, a man no longer has authority over his own body once he gets married, but his wife does. When you get married, you promise to give yourself completely and unreservedly to your spouse. You do not get to withhold yourself. In fact, if you withhold sex to manipulate your spouse, punish your spouse, or for any other reason, you will not only frustrate your spouse, your will frustrate God’s design for marriage. Sexual refusal is sin. Going on a sex strike is sin.
[5] Thus, you should be sexually available to each other at all times. Sexual refusal in marriage is a sin (though you can use sanctified common sense to come up with some exceptions to this rule). If you deprive one another of sex in marriage, you are actually defrauding one another; it is an unjust deprivation, since you are refusing to fulfill an obligation you took on when you got married. It is a form of theft since you are not giving what is owed to your spouse. Note that I am using legal language here! So only refrain from having sex when you *both* agree it’s a good time to be apart, so that you can give yourselves to prayer. But these mutually agreed-upon times of sexual abstinence should not last for too long, because otherwise Satan will tempt you, and remember, one of the reasons you had for getting married in the first place was to minimize sexual temptation. If you deny your spouse when you have not mutually consented to abstain, you actually put a bullseye on your spouse, making him/her an easy target for Satan. You should do all you can to protect one another from Satan’s temptations.
[At this point in the argument, Paul could have inserted a reference to Song of Solomon or to Proverbs 5:15ff, which prove God desires us to have mutually enjoyable sexual activity within the marriage covenant. In Song of Solomon, the woman is full of sexual desire for the bridegroom. Solomon says in Proverbs 5 that a husband should “let [his wife’s] breasts fill [him] at all times with delight” and should be “intoxicated always with [his wife’s] love.” The “at all times” and “always” of Proverbs 5:19 fits well with what Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 7:5. God has commanded the husband to be satisfied with his wife’s breasts at all times; the wife ought not interfere with his obedience to that command but welcome it!]
[6-7] Now, I do have a concession to make to your view that a man should not touch a woman (7:1). I do not give this as a command, obviously, given what I have just said about the goodness of marriage and sex within marriage, but I will make a concession to the view some in your congregation have taken. The concession is this: It would be good for people to be unmarried. In fact, right at this moment, I wish all were unmarried, like me, because marriage brings with it certain burdens and difficulties, especially in times of persecution, such as we are about to face. If you are single during the coming distress, it will be a great advantage to you. I’ll say more about this in a bit (see 7:26 in context; I take the “present distress” to be a time of persecution in the first century, perhaps connected to the “great tribulation” Jesus said would precede the destruction of the temple in 70AD). God has given each of us a gift. To some, he gives the gift of a spouse and family. To others, he gives the gift of being able to live faithfully (that is, chastely) without a spouse. So those of you who do not have strong sex drives certainly have my permission to live a celibate/single life. I am certainly not giving a command that every Christian must get married (the way some Jewish rabbis do).
[Note: The concession in view in v. 6 does not point back to sex within marriage, as if Paul had to reluctantly concede that sexual activity between a husband and wife is just barely permissible. No, it is obvious from Scripture as a whole that God is enthusiastic about sex within marriage, and we should be as well. The concession is found in what follows, and has to do with whether or not they should marry given the church’s present circumstances as Paul is writing. These circumstances are twofold: There is widespread sexual immorality which means many need to marry (v. 1) and there is a coming persecution which will be easier to endure for those who remain single (v. 26). In this particular set of circumstances, Paul highlights the benefits of the single/celibate life for those who can do it. Paul is not giving a command to marry or not marry, but rather providing wisdom so they can make good decisions about marriage in their situation. To paraphrase verses 6 and 7 again, highlighting where the concession falls: “I wish everyone was gifted to live a single life without distraction, as I am. But I will concede that each one has his own marital status as a gift from God. There is no command here to marry, nor to stay single, because some will be called and gifted by God to marry and some will not.” Statistically speaking, the vast majority of people *should* marry.]
[8-9] To those who have not yet married and to those who are widows, I say it is good for you to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control – if they do not have a gift to live without sex – they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn – that is, to burn with sexual passion, which, if it rages out of control can lead to the burning fires of hell. See, sexual desire is a fire, and it belongs in the fireplace of marriage. If it burns outside of that fireplace, it causes destruction. It is better to marry than to burn, even if marriage means you will face certain hardships in the coming persecution. This brings us back around to the issue we started with in verse 1, namely, widespread sexual temptation/immorality in Corinth. Once again, the answer is lawful sexual activity within marriage. My point is that you should not be ashamed of your strong sexual desires – they are rooted in how God made you and they serve his good purposes – but those desires must be channeled. This is why I said earlier that husbands and wives should satisfy each other’s sexual desires – and if you refuse your spouse, you are frustrating one of the chief purposes of marriage, which is the prevention of sexual immorality/temptation.
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