“And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your children after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your children after you.” (Genesis 17:7)
God never rescinded this promise. It is still in force.
Christian parenting is not law, it is gospel. It is rooted in this promise – the promise of God’s grace given to our children. God is the God of our children; he claims them and brings them into a covenant relationship with himself. God called Abraham “friend,” and that friendship extends to the next generation because God is gracious to his people. Just as you love the children of your good friends even from their earliest days, so it is with God and our children.
Christian parenting is not a matter of technique or even keeping certain commands (though keeping commands is important). It is fundamentally a matter of faith.
Christian parents will recognize that Psalm 22:9-10 should be normative in the covenant community. They will treat their children as paedo-believers and paedo-covenant members from their earliest days. They will work to cultivate the seed of paedofaith in the hearts of their children by watering and fertilizing that seed so that it bears fruit. They will disciple their children in the faith so that their children can mature Spiritually even as they mature physically.
Christian parents will recognize that faithful parents in old covenant Israel knew their children were Israelites from their earliest days. Old covenant parents did not expect their children to grow up and have a conversion experience some day so they could become members of Israel; they were already covenant members. Likewise, Christian parents should recognize that God’s grace has made their children members of his holy nation, the new Israel, from their earliest days. Apostasy – covenant breaking – is a possibility, of course, but Christian parents will train their children to be covenant keepers.
Christian parents will take note that just as children do not remember the first time they met their parents – the parents were always already there – so they will likely not remember the first time they met their Heavenly Father – he was always already there. Christian parents will expect and trust that their children will grow up as Christians, never remembering a day when they did not love and trust the Lord Jesus. Growing up Christian will be treated as the norm.
The good works Christian parents do, in teaching, training, nurturing, and disciplining are not just works, they are works of faith — works driven and empowered by faith in the covenant promise. Christian parents do not just do the work of raising children; they do their parental work by faith.
Christian parenting is not a matter of evangelizing the child, hoping he will embrace a covenantal identity some day; it is a matter of discipling the child in an identity God has already given him so that he can own it more and more as he grows. We do not raise our children into the Lord, but in the Lord. They already belong to the Lord by virtue of the covenant promise. They already belong to his kingdom. They are walking with the Lord; we are severely warned if we cause them to stumble.
The prayers of Christian parents for their child should start with and flow out of this promise, recognizing God is already the God of the child. Christian parents, God has given you a promise – claim that promise, ask God to keep that promise, stand on that promise.
Christian parenting recognizes that grace restores nature, including the family. The child is fallen, a sinner under wrath by nature; but by virtue of the covenant promise, by virtue of God’s grace, he is a disciple and a member of God’s covenant household, the church. If Adam and his wife had not fallen into sin, their children would have been God’s children from the beginning; the covenant restores this reality, albeit under fallen conditions (the child is simultaneously a covenant member and a sinner, just like the rest of the church).
Christian parents are branches on the olive tree of the covenant. This means their children are natural branches on the tree. They are holy and beloved. A first generation Christian is a wild olive branch grafted into the tree; but when he has children, those children are born on the tree. They should be counted and treated as such. Christian parents should not doubt what God says about our children in his Word.
Christian parents should bring their children to Jesus in every way, just like parents brought their children to Jesus in the gospels. They should bring their children to Jesus by teaching them the Word of God from infancy, just as Timothy’s mother and grandmother did. They should bring their children to the waters of baptism, where they can be united to Christ, and so be made dead to sin and alive to righteousness. They should bring their children to the table as soon as they are able to eat and drink, so they can commune with their Savior. Christian parents should pray with their children, teaching them to call out “Our Father;” they should absolve their children of sin when they confess and repent; they should impose Christian standards of behavior on their children in age-appropriate ways. Christian parents should continually remind their children of who they are in Christ.
Christian parents should teach their children to sing “Jesus Loves Me” — because it’s true. They should teach their children the Bible because it’s their book. They should teach their children church history because it’s their story. They should celebrate Christian holidays with their children and include them in Christian feasts because all of it belongs to them. Christian parenting is Christian paideia – it is enculturating our children into the way of kingdom life.
Christian parents should recognize that Christian children should be given a Christian education. They should educate their children to look at all of life in the light of God’s Word. They should teach their children to fight manfully under the banner of the cross, against the world, the flesh, and the devil. They should not hand their children over the world to be discipled. They should train their children to think and act like Christians, and to resist the allures of worldliness and secularism.
Christian fathers should recognize the multi-generational covenant promise means they can stand up and boldly proclaim, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!” The Christian family/household is built on the rock-solid foundation of the covenant promise.
Christian parents should baptize their children in their earliest days. And they should recognize that baptism is not an empty symbol, but a powerful means of grace. They should recognize that baptism is the gift and work of God. In baptism, God claims our children for his covenant and kingdom and makes them his own. Christian parents will “grab their children by their baptisms,” regularly reminding them who they are and whose they are.
Christian parents should recognize that faith is not presumption. They should recognize that their children are not going to grow up and stay faithful without diligent instruction and discipline. Folly is still bound up in the heart of the Christian child and needs to be driven out by the rod. Just as the Heavenly Father disciplines adult Christians, so he expects Christian parents to chasten and correct Christian children from very early in life.
Again, Christian parenting is rooted in the promise: “I will be a God to you and your children after you.” Christian parents should claim the promise, rest in the promise, and raise their children in light of the promise. Christian parenting is training our children to be who they are, to live out what they’ve been given. As for Christian adults, so for Christian children: the indicative grounds the imperative; the gospel is the basis for seeking to obey the law.
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